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I like my women like I like my chinese food.... steamy, hot, and lots of doggie
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08-09-2014 20:43
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I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
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08-09-2014 13:15
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Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body prevents cellulite. But apparently you cant do it in Starbucks & now the cops are here
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08-09-2014 13:12
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Lost in Ikea for 271 days.. Spent hellish week in labyrinth of spoon organizers & I'm now in relationship with lamp named "BÖJA"... RESCUE ME
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08-09-2014 09:50 by
snotty
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A woman is only sexy until she becomes a wife.
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08-09-2014 09:10
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Her: You came home drunk last night! Me: I wasn't drunk! Her: You slept with your motorcycle helmet on...
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08-08-2014 23:10
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My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I'd go to hell for.
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08-08-2014 16:41 by
StonerDudee
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If guys were smart, they'd forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
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08-08-2014 16:39 by
StonerDudee
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Tupac has been dead for 18 years and still makes albums and you can't text me back?
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08-08-2014 16:35 by
StonerDudee
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How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google's homepage.
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08-08-2014 16:34 by
StonerDudee
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I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically.
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08-08-2014 16:32 by
StonerDudee
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Spoiler alert: Your '97 Nissan Sentra doesn't need one.
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08-08-2014 16:29 by
StonerDudee
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So you'd like to know what I do for a living? So would I.
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08-08-2014 15:12 by
Baddie
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Instead of moaning about how much your life sucks try getting drunk like normal people
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08-08-2014 15:08
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most girls go from 0 to 69 in 6 beers.
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08-08-2014 14:36
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I once shook hands with an arab and I have my hand to prove it
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08-08-2014 13:56
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girls look back at your wedding photos, if you are fatter than that, he is not happy..
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08-08-2014 10:49
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Far from perfect like everyone else.
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08-08-2014 07:17
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I accidentally stepped on this kid at the store all was well till I learnt his parents were called Lafonzo and Shaniqua
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08-08-2014 05:32
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After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.
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08-08-2014 02:32
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