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"Reverse cowgirl"… So you don't have to experience morning breath
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06-19-2014 07:45 by
YODA
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Facebook has crashed. Save your p0sts for now.
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06-19-2014 04:06
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I can't wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
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06-19-2014 01:39
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How many more days before we can stop talking about World Cup?
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06-19-2014 01:38
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I don't mean to brag, but I'm the funniest person at this funeral.
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06-19-2014 01:37 by
Baddie
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Sure having tight abs is awesome but you know what else is awesome? Pizza.
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06-19-2014 01:34
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Have you tried just avoiding people?
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06-19-2014 01:27
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My best friend's marriage is such an inspiration. As a reminder that there are worse things than dying alone.
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06-19-2014 01:24 by
Baddie
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If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
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06-19-2014 01:23 by
Buddy
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relationship status: sometimes I pretend i'm choking in restaurants for all the free hugs
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06-19-2014 01:23
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Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
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06-19-2014 01:21
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People make promises all the time. I prefer to just make love.
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06-19-2014 01:19
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I can't help it if I'm honest. Horny and honest. Mostly horny.
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06-19-2014 01:17
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Her: How's your drink? Me: It's ok. I can't taste the alcohol though Her:That's cause we're at the gym and its a protein shake
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06-19-2014 01:04 by
Baddie
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where did all these feelings come from and where can I put them
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06-19-2014 00:56 by
BEGO
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Both my girlfriends think I'm cheating. I thought relationships were built on trust and being faithful
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06-19-2014 00:23
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yes I have a dirty mind, and you are in it…
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06-18-2014 21:44 by
flipphonescott
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Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories
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06-18-2014 16:15
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My bank just called me because of suspicious activity on my debit card. They couldn't believe I bought a gym membership.
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06-18-2014 16:15
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Forecast calls for thunderstorms in Europe today. France surrenders...
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06-18-2014 16:06
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