nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   And on the final day God said ..." Let there be football!"

   So I was wondering. If I paid to go watch a football game and suddenly in the middle of the game all the christian players get raptured up into heaven, do I get a refund???

   ‎"You see football takes concentration and skill....SQUIRREL!!!!" - Wade Phillips/NFL Head Coach

   You post constant status updates about what TV show you're watching and what you're eating for dinner. You're not allowed to whine when people get excited for football once a week.

   A girl wearing a pink jersey is not a fan of football. She's just trying to bang someone who is.

   If I could pick winning football teams half as well as I pick the stupidest, slowest cashier in Walmart, I could afford to shop elsewhere.

   Today is National "Women Shut Up If your not Talking About Football" Day. GO COWBOYS!!!!!

   "AND HE WAS JUST A HAIR AWAY FROM GETTING THE SACK!" I love football.

   If your boyfriend isn't ignoring you as much as you'd like him to, suggest he join a few more fantasy football leagues.

   Labor Day marks the beginning of the NFL and college football seasons. Nascar holds the Southern 500. Labor Day marks the last days of Summer. In 2010, the Holiday was cancelled because too many people couldn't remember what it meant to have a job :)

   I want a job in construction. I want to apply to be that guy who is never doing anything when you drive by slowly because they are merging lanes. this guy can usually be seen holding a cigarette and wearing his football teams logo on his hard hat

   since football season is officially here, I will celebrate by tackling the sh*t out of stupid people that piss me off!

   Every top 10 list I've ever seen has at least two entries that are clearly better than number 1... especially when it comes to the preseason College Football poles.

   It may be Pre-Season Football, but I'm drinking like this game really counts.

   Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?

   Brett Favre came out of his hole and didn't see his shadow. That means only 5 more weeks until football starts.

   Pre-season football reminds me of some of my ex's. It's over too soon and it's always boring

   I bet the person who started booty slappin in football was gay

   Brett Favre retired today from the Minnesota Vikings of the National Football League... In other news, the Sun rose in the east this morning...

   wondering, Just how do I get in contact with Paul the octopus during football season?