love Funny Status Messages

   I'm boycotting beauty & the beast because of a teenage girl falling in love with a buffalo 💡

   if you're feeling down about your love life, remember that salmon swim hundreds of miles upstream to jack-off on a pile of eggs and die

   If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...

   My wife woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on her face ..... I love Sharpie markers.

   'All you need is love.' and an IQ low enough to believe that....

   I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn't actually catch the murder on video?lol

   "Let's have a march to show our hate and give speeches about love!" Women

   If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with the police then setting them free was probably a bad idea.

   I love cloning as much as the next guy. Who is also me.

   I love pizza because it doesn't judge and tell me I'm doing it wrong when I eat it drunk.

   I wish I loved anything as much as yankees love fireworks. #nojobbutcanaffordfireworks

   I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Rosie O'Donnell too..

   I love you my friends ... and that's not just the beer talking ... its from the bottom of my bottle of wine too.

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Donald Trump too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take JCGJ too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!

   When I'm bored I like going to down to the train station, making eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it while yelling "I LOVE YOU!"

   Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn't."