Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1791 of 6386
If you wear pants in your own home why did you even buy a house
←Rate |
08-06-2014 01:47 by Baddie
Comments (0)
Relationship status: Throwing stones at couples in the park.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 01:46
Comments (0)
Morning wood starts the best fire.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 01:31 by Baddie
Comments (0)
Gay joke in three, two, One Direction.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 01:30
Comments (0)
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome
←Rate |
08-06-2014 01:29
Comments (0)
Hello? Hey, sorry for calling so late. It's Dorothy. From the internet. Facebook. Sorry, I just... was that status about me?
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:58 by Baddie
Comments (0)
You do not scare me ugly little black french fry.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:56
Comments (0)
Imagine someone trying to tell you really bad news, but behind them all you see is a midget chasing a butterfly.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:56
Comments (0)
Sorry I can't make it to your event. I came down with a bad case of I hate you.
I don't carry a gun, but I do carry an uncomfortable amount of eye contact.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:52 by Baddie
Comments (0)
A V-neck so deep it teaches a philosophy class at the local community college.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:51 by Baddie
Comments (0)
There was a spider in my truck so I very carefully turned my hazard lights on and drove off a bridge.
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:45
Comments (0)
Your lips are saying, "yes" but your lazy eye is saying, "Ooooooooh what is that over theeerrrreee???"
←Rate |
08-06-2014 00:43 by Baddie
Comments (0)
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy
if I hang bat stuff all over my "man cave", will I have a "bat man cave"? .....Alfred, get me a drink
←Rate |
08-05-2014 21:01 by Eddy
Comments (0)
If news about a movie being made upsets you, why not work out your anger by getting out your oils and painting a masterpiece.
I dream of a universe where world leaders rush to comment on entertainment news as quickly as entertainers rush to comment on world affairs.
←Rate |
08-05-2014 19:03 by Huck
Comments (0)
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
←Rate |
08-05-2014 17:08 by Nipper
Comments (0)
Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by disagreeing with the wife.
←Rate |
08-05-2014 16:59 by M
Comments (0)
why do blind people smile?
←Rate |
08-05-2014 14:52
Comments (0)