Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   FACT: 10 out of 10 people will eventually die.. Probably not a bad idea to give Jesus a try... Just saying

   Get your popcorn ready! It's Movie Night in Ferguson again!!

   I'm yet to see hot chics do the Ice Bucket challenge in a t-shirt. Come on ladies...I'm waiting.

   Wouldn't it be ironic if dousing with cold water caused cancer??

   A spider so big you politely ask it to leave the premises & then sheepishly accept its refusal with all the dignity of a French surrender.

   Hi, i'll have a venti cafe mocha vodka val!um latte to go please! Me at the Starbucks Barista.

   "Excuse me, are you using this mirror?" - Me, at the gym

   Can I have your cyber-attention please ?

   Johnny bravo has taught me a great deal about how to deal with rejection.

   It's the perfect time to replace ALS with Ebola.

   A bucket of ice water is no challenge. Now, a bucket of s#it from a portajohn is a challenge. . .

   Hello? Yes, I would like to cancel those vacation plans to beautiful Ferguson, MO.

   I elect the women in the World with large breasts to support ALS by pouring ice water over yourself wearing a white shirt and no bra. Thank you.

   I'm not strong enough to be your man, you weigh too much for me to lift honey. . .

   first snow fall of the year I am initiating a naked snow angel challenge to raise awareness of challenges that raise awareness.

   I'm sure all the cold water dumping videos have just about cured cancer...

   And for my next magic trick, I'll walk down a street and turn into a bar.

   I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over

   Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my womans hair. It's a nice way to let her know my love,, and also that we're out of napkin

   My Hamster passed today,,,, Yeah, he fell asleep at the wheel.... :(