Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1754 of 6446

Whew! the wind has been blowing and howling like crazy all day. Kept looking out the window for Dorothy to show up.
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11-25-2014 01:17
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Way to go Ferguson...Burning down the same grocery stores where you use your foodstamps to shop. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Real justice losers!. Real justice

I say let them burn ferguson to the ground and watch them cry tomorrow cause they don't have anywhere to spend their foodstamps.
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11-25-2014 00:57 by cyndi
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I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

They aren't looters....they are undocumented shoppers
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11-25-2014 00:06
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I guess Black Friday started early in Ferguson

in order to disburse the crowd in Ferguson police dropped job applications from the policehelicopters
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11-24-2014 23:31 by Truth
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Don't just tell her she is beautiful, make her believe it. Then slap her ass and tell her to keep up the good f*cking work.

I'm surprised the FHRITP guy is not at Ferguson screaming his catch phrase on the news...
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11-24-2014 23:08
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I just saw the trailer for the upcoming motion picture "Exodus". I guess guy-liner was the thing in ancient Egyptian times.
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11-24-2014 22:53
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Travelocity search: "Ferguson" other people who have searched Ferguson have searched Beirut, Kabul, and Detroit.
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11-24-2014 20:34
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"BRING ME THE FETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS.".. *Maniacal stare..."Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"... "AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"
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11-24-2014 20:25 by snotty
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They should wait until tomorrow morning to announce the verdict so everyone in Ferguson will be at work. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
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11-24-2014 19:58
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What time does that rioting and looting reality show start tonight?

Tonight seems like the perfect night to stay home, pop up some popcorn, veg in front of the TV and watch Ferguson burn to the ground.
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11-24-2014 19:50
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in my opinion, a camel's back seems like a very inefficient way to transport straws,,, but I might be a bit biased here.
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11-24-2014 18:56 by snotty
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“I shall always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.”
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11-24-2014 17:05
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♪ ♫ "Oh come all ye looters Joyful and on welfare Come ye oh come ye to Ferguson."
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11-24-2014 17:00
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If you don't have anything interesting to say, say it in a status update.
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11-24-2014 14:21
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Did you know that the average person gains 4 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Good thing my mom told me I would never be average.
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11-24-2014 12:28 by snotty
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