Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 1754 of 6446

   messageicon Whew! the wind has been blowing and howling like crazy all day. Kept looking out the window for Dorothy to show up.
←Rate | 11-25-2014 01:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Way to go Ferguson...Burning down the same grocery stores where you use your foodstamps to shop. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Real justice losers!. Real justice
←Rate | 11-25-2014 01:07 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say let them burn ferguson to the ground and watch them cry tomorrow cause they don't have anywhere to spend their foodstamps.
←Rate | 11-25-2014 00:57 by cyndi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."
←Rate | 11-25-2014 00:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon They aren't looters....they are undocumented shoppers
←Rate | 11-25-2014 00:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess Black Friday started early in Ferguson
←Rate | 11-25-2014 00:02 by derfmeister Comments (0)  


   messageicon in order to disburse the crowd in Ferguson police dropped job applications from the policehelicopters
←Rate | 11-24-2014 23:31 by Truth Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't just tell her she is beautiful, make her believe it. Then slap her ass and tell her to keep up the good f*cking work.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 23:11 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surprised the FHRITP guy is not at Ferguson screaming his catch phrase on the news...
←Rate | 11-24-2014 23:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw the trailer for the upcoming motion picture "Exodus". I guess guy-liner was the thing in ancient Egyptian times.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Travelocity search: "Ferguson" other people who have searched Ferguson have searched Beirut, Kabul, and Detroit.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 20:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "BRING ME THE FETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS.".. *Maniacal stare..."Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"... "AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"
←Rate | 11-24-2014 20:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should wait until tomorrow morning to announce the verdict so everyone in Ferguson will be at work. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
←Rate | 11-24-2014 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What time does that rioting and looting reality show start tonight?
←Rate | 11-24-2014 19:50 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight seems like the perfect night to stay home, pop up some popcorn, veg in front of the TV and watch Ferguson burn to the ground.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 19:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in my opinion, a camel's back seems like a very inefficient way to transport straws,,, but I might be a bit biased here.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 18:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I shall always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.”
←Rate | 11-24-2014 17:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ "Oh come all ye looters Joyful and on welfare Come ye oh come ye to Ferguson."
←Rate | 11-24-2014 17:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't have anything interesting to say, say it in a status update.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 14:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that the average person gains 4 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Good thing my mom told me I would never be average.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 12:28 by snotty Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left