life Funny Status Messages

   wishes diets would be easier....like a burger diet or a pizza diet...best would be alcohol diet....man I would dedicate my life to following interesting diets like that....goes without saying I meant if those diets help you lose weight....wow....god is u

   Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.

   If you think about it, "This was the greatest day of my life" is a very pessimistic statement.

   I Think there is in every girl's life a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.

   Dear Life, You have some explaining to do...

   RT @latinjns Jeremiah 28:11 He has a plan for your life, trust him to lead and guide you.....//Yes Lord!

   The way my luck runs, if I were hanging on to the side of a cliff for dear life, the person reaching down to pull me up would be a leper.

   Precision. Concentration. Patience & Fearlessness. 4 skills I possess whilst shavin my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life!

   wishing he lived life like Cyde & Ely Shoelace on youtube!!!

   life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning how to dance in the rain!

   life can taste sour but god can make it sweet

   Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

   just admitted himself into the hokey pokey institute...I figure it a way to turn my life around.

   Since Facebook came into my life I have completely neglected MySpace. This must be what parents feel like when they have a second child.

   I just wrote a note to my utilities company: Dear Utilities, Life is full of surprises. This month we won't be paying our bill. SURPRISE!

   Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.

   Sure, I've done bad things in my life. But not "going to hell" bad. More like "Jesus is going to make me his b*tch in heaven" bad.

   You're never more indignant in life than when you're shopping in a store that you feel is beneath you and one of the other customers mistakes you for an employee of that store.

   The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere

   NXT 4 Life! They're taking over!