santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.

   I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer. lol!

   why is Santa so jolly? Cause he knows where all the naughty girls live.

   Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you said you were gay.

   Spice up the holidays with random quotation marks: "Merry" Christmas to your family / Merry Christmas to "your" family / Merry Christmas to your "family"

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.

   Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don't think soooo.

   I assume nowadays the Christmas family portrait theme involves four people staring into their electronic devices next to the Christmas tree...

   I asked Santa for Hillary Clinton for Christmas, but he said “No, You’ll Shoot Her Eye Out!”

   Want to see somethine scary? When your house is full of teenagers for the holidays, unplug your wi-fi.

   its christmas time. lets see some funnies and not democratic bull

   I don't care what we have for Christmas dinner as long as it's lasagna.

   I decided to use Craigslist to do all my Christmas shopping. Look's like everyone's getting used couches this year.

   The best part of paying $49 for this new toy for my son's Christmas present is knowing how happy some other kid will be in 3 months when we donate it to a thrift store

   A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.

   A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop

   Getting Christmas gifts for my kids gets harder as they get older, mostly because I can't remember where I hid them.

   Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number

   If one of Santa Claus's helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?

   We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch