life Funny Status Messages

   Never entrust your life to a surgeon who has more than two band -aids on his fingers

   My mom used to say that I'm wasting my life playing all these video games... thats ok, I still have more lives!

   Remembering how easy life was in kindergarten. As long as you had the biggest box of crayons and the coolest lunch box you ruled the school......

   If at first you don't succeed, wait a third of your life and look him/her up on Facebook.

   Life is full of secrets and lies, so when you get screwed over, don't act surprised.

   Life will always be like a roller coaster ride! Make sure your seatbelt is fastened and hold on tight because its full of thrills, screams, chills, fear, excitement, tears, laughter, joy, anxiety, and the will to do it all over again! "Life I tell ya!"

   Just killed a spider for the first time without peeing myself. Thug life.

   In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and a unforgettable love.

   todays horoscope-Your belief that all of life's problems can be solved by a heart to heart talk and a good nights sleep will be tested when you are introduced to mathmatics.

   the life of the party, even if I dont attend

   Build a man a fire he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm the rest of his life.

   There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "us" in trust, "ex" in "next" and "if" in life.

   ok...who watches Jeremy Kyle to make themselves feel better about thier own screwed up life?

   Scientist have discovered an area on Mars that might have once contained life. Alien scientist have made the same discovery about the Gulf of Mexico.

   There are certain truths in life: Lasagna just tastes better the next day as a leftover!

   "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.

   Every time I clean up I feel as if I am depriving archaeologists of clues to my daily life.

   never make someone a priority in your life when you are only any option

   The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, sleep and dream.

   Life is like a doughnut. You're either in the dough or in the hole.