Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't.

   Lindsey Vonn starts at the top and ends up on the bottom.....so, apparently, does Tiger

   Kristen Stewart is like if Internet Explorer was a person.

   Richard Sherman's girlfriend just dumped him for Malcom Butler.

   Super Bowl lesson; play to your strengths. Seattle should have given the ball to Lynch ... Katy should have shown more cleavage. Go with what makes you great.

   Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations

   so THAT'S what Sherman looks like with his mouth shut

   Pete Carroll Press Conference "I'm just here so I don't get fined"

   Patriots better deflate that frigging ball or they are going to be in trouble.

   I stll like your clam chowder

   Was watching the Katy Perry Halftime Show and a tribute to Owen Hart broke out...

   OK which team has the most dreadlocks?

   So there's a football game going on at the Katy Perry concert?

   She lost me at, " I'm going for the Seahawks!"

   No! No, Bryant Gumbel!! We DON'T want to see Katie Couric "twerk"! PLEASE don't ask her again!

   I can make beer disappear, what is your super power?

   After the lost of Whitney Houston in the bath tub, one would think Bobbie Kristina would...perhaps stay clear of tubs and spend more time in the shower instead.

   Deflated balls and accused of cheating?? Been there; done that.

   If we put a pair of glasses on the Super Bowl we could probably find out it's true identity.

   Thanks for the advice, officer. I'll try to be less black next time.