Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1625 of 6384
I'm happy Bruce Jenner is transitioning into a woman but I'd be even happier if his stepdaughters transitioned into oblivion
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02-08-2015 10:03 by Baddie
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Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don't have long to live.
Ever been so mad you threw a cat at another cat?
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02-08-2015 09:50
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CNN reported that Bruce Jenner got back ended yesterday....I also heard something about a car crash....;-)
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02-08-2015 09:39 by scottyp
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Just once I'd like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
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02-08-2015 09:30 by Czovczov
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It appears Bruce Jenner is also driving like a womam ......
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02-08-2015 08:31 by dgiddens
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Waiter, is the chicken cage-free? Yes, they've never seen a Nicholas Cage movie. Not even Con-Air?! That's a classic! Fine, I'll have the steak.
People who have permission to call me honey, sugar or sweetie: 1. Truck stop waitresses 2. That’s it
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02-08-2015 06:13 by huck
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I tried j*rking off with my left hand and, it doesn't feel so right
Kim Kardashian got her hair cut short today....... I hope it doesn't make her A$$ look to big.....
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02-07-2015 20:59
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Bruce Jenner has barely admitted to transitioning to be a female and has already begun to drive as bad as one.
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02-07-2015 17:16
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don't go outside, people talk to you. i'm still shaking.
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02-07-2015 14:18 by Baddie
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what wine goes with Mood Stabilizers
The cats didn't hear me getting myself a snack. I'm a ninja.
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02-07-2015 13:17
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The kids of Gaza do recieve the media attention, when they act up, we spank them
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02-07-2015 11:43 by @tuxxer
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Sorry you bled to death while I was looking at my phone.
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02-07-2015 11:23
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My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I'm just glad to be involved.
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02-07-2015 11:22 by Baddie
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We would have discovered the cure for cancer by now if we rewarded, recognized and respected our scientists just as much as we do our sportsmen and celebrities.
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02-07-2015 11:01
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Imagine if we lived in a world where the children of Gaza received as much media attention as Kim Kardashian's haircut did
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02-07-2015 10:16
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"That's What." - She
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02-07-2015 10:09 by Steve OH
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