love Funny Status Messages

   America. .......for the love of sanity......wake up..... your going to hell in a hand cart

   If some of your citizens have lost faith in the flag and country, maybe you needs to try to find out why and address their grievances instead of trying to force them to respect the flag and love their country.

   Does anyone know the name of that Jennifer Aniston movie? You know. The one where she plays a quirky girl who untimately finds love in the end?

   I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping: 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size

   I love talking to small children. No adult is ever going to ask me what my 3rd favorite dinosaur is.

   70% of Facebook users have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Married… LIKE if you love food.

   I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.

   I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.

   Instead of bashing what you hate, try smashing what you love.

   I love dieting I'm actually on 4 diets: Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.

   I love ruining the plot of Dorian Gray for people. Never gets old.

   If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and beat the snot out of it.

   I think about making love every 3.14159265 seconds. I guess I’m pi-sexual.

   They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.

   Women love taking showers in boiling hot water, because it reminds them of hell, where they come from ...

   Steve Miller.. "Some call me the gangster of love"..... Steve Miller`so band... "Ummm, yeah,,, Nobody calls him that"....

   I can't make you love me, but I can hold your head underwater until you stop breathing.

   If you love someone who doesn't love you, means you are waiting for a ship at the airport!

   I really hate conflict........unless you guys like it,in that case I love it.

   a man was making love to a village girl without protection.... she-you are not using protection,i hope you don't have AIDS? him-no,i don't have AIDS she-thank God,i don't want to get that thing again! the guy fainted