Aerotim Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I love dieting I'm actually on 4 diets: Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.
←Rate | 07-10-2017 17:03 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop pulled me over and was going to give me a ticket for talking on the phone and driving. I told him he couldn't do that because it was my wife and I was just listening.
←Rate | 07-17-2017 05:33 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all have faults. It's just that mine are better than yours.
←Rate | 05-05-2017 15:29 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me and my recliner go way back.
←Rate | 05-05-2017 15:28 by Aerotim Comments (1)  


   messageicon Learn to fight like your the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
←Rate | 05-08-2017 11:24 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
←Rate | 05-07-2017 08:55 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not trying to brag but I can wear the same size socks today that I did in high school.
←Rate | 05-05-2017 15:54 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trust you?! Pssstt. I still count my money when it comes out of an ATM.
←Rate | 08-28-2017 06:38 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
←Rate | 05-07-2017 08:49 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm as broke as a pick pocket in a nudist colony.
←Rate | 05-10-2017 08:23 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leaving out one letter can cost you thousands of dollars in legal fees: "Doll I'm having a blast in Las Vegas, wish you were her."
←Rate | 05-07-2017 08:53 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some mornings you just can't smell enough coffee. ☕️
←Rate | 05-07-2017 08:51 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon . Don't wear skinny jeans if you don't have skinny genes. Just saying
←Rate | 05-07-2017 09:23 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


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