unknowncomic Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's always awkward when you scan your neighbors house and lock eyes with another set of binoculars.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 17:50 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say "If you want loyalty, get a dog," but my dog would abandon me in a dark alley for a pizza crust, so maybe loyalty has layers.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 06:40 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love when I tell a cat owner I'm allergic and they look at me like I just confessed to a series of truck stop homicides.
←Rate | 10-17-2017 06:07 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 05:54 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first step to causing drama is making sure you tell everyone you hate drama.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 08:20 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever wonder if the bank just look through your account and think what the heck is this person doing
←Rate | 09-10-2017 05:52 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
←Rate | 10-28-2017 18:55 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Million dollar idea: Uber but for gift wrapping. That way my wife wouldn't think an epileptic monkey on crack wrapped her gift.
←Rate | 12-11-2017 04:43 by unknowncomic Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ugh. None of my Facebook friends have accepted my "Take Seven B&W Pictures of Your Life Print them Poster-Size, Tint them with Watercolors, Scan Them, Increase Vibrance by 50% then Post Each One with a 3-Word Description Challenge".
←Rate | 11-21-2017 05:03 by unknowncomic Comments (0)  



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