Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1546 of 6446

Why Does My Feed Have To Be Clogged With Everything You Liked???
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07-14-2015 12:12 by JCT
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The worst thing a woman can ask a man is "Guess what today is."
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07-14-2015 11:50
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Tried meditating once but ended up taking a really great nap.
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07-14-2015 11:47
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My Psychiatrist is getting tired of starting our sessions with "Why do you think they unfollowed you?"
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07-14-2015 11:46
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It's not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
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07-14-2015 11:39
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My mom told me she had Five Guys for lunch today."
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07-14-2015 11:38
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You would be amazed how little you can trust people these days...
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07-14-2015 10:08 by TJC
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We should just invite ISIS over to help us purge our history for us, they are great at it...
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07-14-2015 09:51
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If I end up doing something really cool or funny there’s an 80% chance it was on accident
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07-14-2015 09:44
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*Putting gas in car... $19.97... *stops..(gently).. $ 19.98... (very gently)... $19.99... *Ok, once more...(deep breath).... $37.63... GODDAMMIT
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07-14-2015 07:55 by snotty
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It's so hot outside,, that other people's balls are sticking to my legs.
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07-14-2015 07:45 by snotty
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Breaking news: 50 Cent is looking to play a gig for Nickleback.
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07-13-2015 23:33
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50 cent is broke wants to be called 5 cent now
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07-13-2015 22:12
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Hey Youtube, you've got a grammatical error on your website... Its "You WILL skip ad in 5 seconds"... not, "You CAN skip ad in 5 seconds"
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07-13-2015 20:35 by snotty
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If you think you're having a bad day just remember, at least you're not receiving death threats by one of the world most powerful drug lord.
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07-13-2015 20:09 by Rollen
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Another day ruined by responsibly
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07-13-2015 19:40
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My Man Crush Monday is: Obama. I hope a rock falls, and crushes his head.

Trump was missing from Miss Universe contest. Did El Chapo's escape have anything to do with it, being a mexican?
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07-13-2015 14:48
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50 cents files for bankruptcy. That's all he had to his name
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07-13-2015 14:37
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So 50 Cent is all he's worth now?
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07-13-2015 14:03 by Bward
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