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This pepper spray feels like "No" really meant "No".
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05-08-2015 09:20
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Its pretty cool how when you ask yoursefl, "What's the worst that can happen?" Life stops what its doing as is like, "Here, let me show you"
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05-08-2015 09:18
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Do depressed people know they can watch bums fight over a bag of Doritos on You Tube?
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05-08-2015 09:15
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Drinking Status: My liver just entered the witness protection program.
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05-08-2015 09:14
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"I've never felt so alone...." ~ Me, sitting down to poop and realizing I forgot my phone.
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05-08-2015 09:13
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*Playing Go-Fish" with a Vegan* ME: Do you have any Sixes? V: I'm a Vegan.
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05-08-2015 09:09
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I had "Abstinence-only" sex education when I was in high school. It was called "Marching Band".
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05-08-2015 09:07
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WWII ended 70 years ago today. It's been that long since America REALLY fought for freedom.
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05-08-2015 05:56 by
Jerk
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The difference between "fetish" and "felony" is checking beforehand
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05-08-2015 05:47 by
DeeX
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Wait, don't go. I can ruin it some more.
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05-08-2015 02:07 by
Kisstopher707
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At what age do you stop shopping at Costco because you won't use the entire pack before you die?
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05-08-2015 01:45 by
StonerDudee
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The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the f*ck they're doing.
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05-08-2015 01:44 by
StonerDudee
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all of mankind can be divided in two groups: morning people and those who want to kill morning people...guess for which one I'm cleaning and loading my gun!
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05-07-2015 23:57 by
ARM
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i went and refilled my prescription for my antidepressants... Because Happy Meals just don't seem to work for me!
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05-07-2015 23:06 by
Dani
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A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell.
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05-07-2015 18:57
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Slippers made out of Lego so that when you step on Lego you just get taller.
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05-07-2015 18:53
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f a midget smokes weed does he get high or medium??
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05-07-2015 18:50
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I just bought my sanity back for $19.99 and it came with a side of hot wings..
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05-07-2015 18:49
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shhhhhh..it's really hard to imagine you're someone else when you talk
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05-07-2015 14:19 by
Kisstopher707
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Some people call me the Space Cowboy., some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice.... those people suck at nicknames.
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05-07-2015 14:14
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