love Funny Status Messages

   me and procrastinating have this love hate relationship going on.... but I'll do it later...

   a wife is like the suits of a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to beat them when they drive you nuts, and a spade to bury them when their dead

   we don't choose who you fall in love with, we can only pray that thay fall in love with us too ♥

   Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

   I love to walk in fog , so nobody knows am smoking (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~

   found a sweet new keyboard shortcut. I wish I'd known about it before, it's so much faster! I love you ALT + F4. You make my life easy.

   If love is blind does that mean divorce is lasik surgery?

   dont make love in your back garden! love is blind but ur neighbours arnt!!

   hippies want to save the trees, but they love to read books

   Im the kinda human wreckage that you love

   Dear Beer,I forgive You for abandoning me during tough times during the week, I love You for coming back on weekend and will French kiss You, till sobriety do us apart!

   dear facebook,stop spamming my wall with dating site Ads or am going to change my relationship status from single to married and sue you for temptation.love,me.

   I love Australia! It's the only place in the word you can call someone a "mate" without sounding sexual ;)

   True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

   HATE: a SPECIAL KIND OF LOVE GIVEN TO PEOPLE WHO SUCK!

   The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

   I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. ‘Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

   I love you in a "leave me alone" kinda way!

   haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

   One should always be in love, this is the reason one should never marry