life Funny Status Messages

   - You know life is hard when gas prices are higher than your GPA.

   The most exciting fact about life is the fact that everything you imagine happens somewhere and sometime in the universe.

   - you know life is hard when gas prices are higher than your GPA!!

   My Friends Told Me To Get A Life,Instead I Got A Wife And Now I Miss My Life.........

   Sometimes I think that life is one big test...and I'm in the wrong classroom.

   God puts people in my life for a reason... & removes them from my life for a better reason.

   Seems like life had more meaning back when pluto was still a planet. Now I don't really know what to live for anymore...Live for that next beer, perhaps?

   needs to stop listening what people are telling him to do and start focusing on what he really wants in life..... pie!

   I have to constantly remind myself of the fact that life is too short to waste it on getting mad at idiots

   I wonder if my life would be better if I wrapped it in bacon?

   A recent study concluded that staring at women's boobs for 10 minutes a day increases life expectancy. In other news, I turn 137 this month.

   was at a house recently of some people I didn't like when life afforded me the opportunity to empty their bottle of sexual lubrication and replace it with hand sanitizer, On the bright side they should be 99.9% Germ free

   IM SO BAD. I BROKE 3 LAWS LESS THAN 35 SECONDS. I RAN A RED LIGHT, I WAS GOING 60 IN A 45, AND I SAID THE F WORD. #THUG LIFE

   life is all bout ass... you're either kissing it, behaving like it, covering it, working it off, or trying to get a piece of it.

   Went to this mexican restaurant for dinner ... It had pronounciations of each item ... Nachos (Na-choos) Buritto (Bur-ee-toe) Taco (Ta-Koe), never laughed so hard in my life! Side note: It was attached to a bowling alley ... awesome

   People who take the elevator up one floor should wear signs reading "I quit trying at life long ago."

   swimming less than 30 minutes after a meal.. Thug life baby!!

   When life throws you a curve, downshift and take it vigorously.

   "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didnâ€

   The awkward moment when you realize your whole life has been a lie this whole time