life Funny Status Messages

   The Rapture isn't going to happen as long as people keep trying to predict when it will happen. Stop guessing, live life like you know your supposed to and He'll get here when He gets here!

   If you really want a great, fulfilling life you have to work very hard for ..... hold on a sec, they're about to draw the lottery numbers

   Why do I knowingly pick the bad choices in life. I know I'm going to pay for it in the end but it sure looks like its going to be fun in the mean time

   Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.

   They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life.

   I just found out that the life insurance policy I put on Osama Bin Laden is invalid..... Damn!

   They say, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". Maybe its just me but........wont you get........chocolate??

   I got a funny cigarette and a $2 bottle of wine and a beautiful blonde with me tonight!! Life can't get no sweeter!!

   Life doesn't change. Only the people in it.

   Before sex, you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're f***ed

   "Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

   Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and have the time of our lives!

   When life hands you lemons it should only remind you to buy more tequila, life is as simple as that.

   I sure hopes they're wrong about the world ending in 2012. I'd hate to think I wasted the last couple years of my life on Facebook with you guys ;)

   We have a game show called Survivor in America....you can win 1 million dollars for doing something for 2 weeks that most people on this planet call "life"!! It simply amazes me how spoiled, ungrateful and lazy we are!!

   Having lived and loved, I can tell you that life is the constant and love is the variable

   They say laughing adds 15 minutes to your life... So try not to smile

   Shout out to all the moms who spent their whole Mother's Day thinking and worrying, "If this dummy ever asks for a paternity test, I can kiss the good life goodbye”

   out making changes in his life... leave a message and I'll get back to you. if I dont get back to you - your one of the changes

   received a reply from an X-Box Micro-softy telling me that the 'Red Circle of Death' is a 'Red Ring of Death'.... Well soooo sorry! But have you considered gatting a life or at the very least a sense of humor?