love Funny Status Messages

   who ever said that it takes two to fight never seen the crackhead at 7-11 yelling at the wall I love niagara falls

   Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you." She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."

   "The people of Libya love me, except the ones given hallucinogenic drugs by Al Qaeda...Duh, WINNING!" ~Muammar Gaddafisteen~

   Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that game!

   Dear gas prices, I love it when you go down on me. Sincerely, pretty please?

   I hate Glee... when I drive past stupid drivers with my hand in the shape of an "L" on my forehead, they just smile, give me a giant thumbs up and nod as I read their lips "I love Glee too!"meanwhile drifting bk and forth while driving 55 in the fast lane

   MARDI GRAS!!! Because who doesn't love pancakes and tequila!!!

   I would love to become Facebook friends with a hooker because I bet the status updates would be very interesting if they were honest, like, "Lindsey just made $300 in 15 minutes."

   Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct; what they like to be is a man's last romance.

   If love isn't a game, then why are there so many players ?

   I love listening to my neighbor talk about his four year degree and when he's done I say...can you supersize that, then drive up to the pick up window.

   Love is like a glass door… Sometimes you don't see it and it smacks you right in the face.

   Don't you just hate those skinny ass Barbie type girls that always says "I'm fat"!! I would love to go "not now but keep actin' like your actin' and you will be after those 7 kids you're gonna have" Anyone else feel this way??

   e-harmony proves that even people who wear shorts, dress socks and sandals CAN find true love.

   don't pee on me and tell me it's raining... pee on me and tell me you love me.

   I love hearing rumors because they tell me things about myself I didn't know before.

   If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

   Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

   Gotta love the commercials for medications. The side effects of the meds are usually worse than the symptoms. For example, I have an itchy leg. "try dexalog: symptoms may include: hair loss, weight gain, growing an extra head, skin to disintegrate..."

   i love watching commercials for medicatications. the symptoms are usually worse the the side effects of the meds. for example I have an itchy leg. "try dexalog: symptoms might involve: growing an extra head out of your, neck, skin to decintergrate, loss o