life Funny Status Messages

   Married women think I'm way too awesome to be single. Single women don't give a sh!t what married women think. Life is still stupid.

   If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. So... yeah.. don't bother reserving a spot in your life for me.

   "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs

   I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

   Life is just like an ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts !!

   “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most

   Life is harder for the beautiful people. I'm sorry you'll never know.

   I named my dog life because she is a b!tch too.

   My optic nerve crossed with my a$$hole, and gave me a sh*tty outlook on life.

   "You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that." - Life

   ‎"When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life..." You know now that I'm older this circle of life doesn't really seem that balanced... Especially if your the antelope

   Someone was a horrible person in their past life.. and was then reincarnated as my liver.

   My life wasn't complete until I met you,,,,,,, You COMPLETELY ruined it. Thanks...

   I got life alert just in case I ever get a life.

   All my life I've blamed myself for having a weight problem. Turns out it was my mom's fault. It's not that she prepared fattening dishes, or made me eat a lot. It's just that instead of having an egg in her uterus, she had bacon.

   When it comes to sex, women who date asians appreciate the smaller things in life.

   Life always play with us, when we are helpless..!!!

   Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex! Now that I have your full attention, its weekend for god's sake, log off and go out there and enjoy your life dammit!

   FB isnt the place to tell everyone your life blows..... everyone knows it the place where you pretend your life is awesome!

   From now on when some one places a depressing FB status we should all just like it. I'm sad.. my life sucks..FML.. no one loves me.. LIKE That way they get the attention they want and maybe just maybe will get the idea that FB isnt the place to tell ever