life Funny Status Messages
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People only speak about your life because their own lives are nothing to speak of. 
One spelling mistake can destroy your life, A Husband sent this to his wife:I'm having a wonderful time wish you were her
The guy in line next to me at Walmart is buying a 12 pack and a Snuggie. Wonder how his social life is going.
The man in front of me is buying a pregnancy test. I think this is the one time in his life, where he wishes she sent him for tampons!
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
The secret to life for me plain and simple...is to not die.
Had to take a drug test on my lunch break for my life insurance policy, the lady told me that I passed and asked me why I look so angry, I told her that my dealer has some explaining to do now....
"Nonexistent" is my new favorite word. It describes so many things about my life!
80% of the time, I hate my life... the other 20% of the time i'm unconscious.
Glad the Facebook redesign helped distract you from everything actually wrong with your life
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook
Feelings like anger and sadness should probably be embraced. Even though we may not like them, they're all natural emotions and a part of life. After all, the world would most likely be pretty bland if all we felt was satisfaction.
Life and beer are very similar........chill for best results.
so far I've handed out 23 caramel covered onions on a stick to trick or treaters... life is fun
You know you're wasting your life on the Internet when you keep coming back to the same sites because you can't think of anything else to do.
My life is like a Lambourghini. It's going too fast, and it costs too much.
I am having the best day of my life and I owe it all to not going to church!!!
It's the strangest feeling when you come out of the cinema when a film ends, because you were so sucked into the film that you forget all about real life.
That uneasy moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don't know what to do with your life any more.
People ask me if I live my life on the edge. Well, let's just say I'm the kind of guy who eats apples without washing them first. [Search Results] [View All Messages]
