love Funny Status Messages

   Live, Laugh, Love. If that doesn't work, Ready, Aim and Fire.

   I can't breath through my nose, I'm in a perpetual state of sneeze, my eyes are watery, there is something crawling on my back and up my leg!!! OMG I love Spring!!!

   They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.

   "Thor" is the #1 movie -- proving there's nothing Americans love watching more than an immigrant who's good with a hammer.

   Someone questioned: "Y do we need a lover when there are so many around to love us?" A wise man answered: "As air is everywhere but we still need a fan to feel it!" :)

   I love cornbread. Not as much as the woman next to me who has "CORNBREAD" tattooed on her arm... but I love it nonetheless.

   If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.

   Treat em like ladies - love em like lesbians!

   you know I love you like a fat kid loves cake.. But i'm on a diet

   I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

   If sex is the food of love then masturbation must be the snacks between meals.

   Big shout out to Jason Voorhees! Party at Camp Crystal Lake tonight with a lot of love making....Be there or be square!!

   It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.

   I love watching two girls meet for the first time. Its easily the fakest thing I have ever seen.

   Watch your wedding video backwards, you will love the bit where you take off the ring get out of the Church and f*** off with friends

   I am never shocked or surprised when someone I trust and love backstabs or betrays me. Even the Devil was once an angel. Even Judas was once a loyal disciple.

   Mess with me, I'll fight back. Mess with my friends, I'll hurt you. Mess with ones I love, and they'll never be able to identify you."

   Guys don't post stuff like ☆ BEAUTIFUL☆ FATHER☆ AWARD ☆ on eachouther's walls with the whole ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙ crap after it.  We show each other love by posting, "Dude, you're an A$$!"  

   Guys don't post stuff like ☆ BEAUTIFUL☆ FATHER☆ AWARD ☆ on eachouther's walls with the whole ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙ crap after it.  We show each other love by posting, "Dude, you're an ass!"  

   Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it...