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Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most …
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10-03-2016 14:16 by
thejoke.cafe
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Kim Kardashian held at gunpoint and made to put her clothes back on.
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10-03-2016 14:15 by
thejoke.cafe
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Glad Kim K is ok, heard the whole thing was a mix up, the robbers car broke down and they thought she could hook them up with a Tranny
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10-03-2016 12:58 by
SEAN
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50% of Trump supporters are Deplorable, BUT 50% of Hillary supporters are DEPORTABLE !
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10-03-2016 11:34
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I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing....
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10-03-2016 06:57
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Welcome to Twitter if you are not already following a mom who drinks wine, one will be assigned to you....
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10-03-2016 06:34
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Too old for snapchat and too young for Life Alert.
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10-03-2016 06:22
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I'm starting to think Trump vs Hillary is because someone went back in time and stepped on a butterfly, and know where living in a future that was never meant to be
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10-03-2016 05:57 by
unknown comic
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Surprised Kim didn't snapchat the whole Rob thing....:P
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10-03-2016 05:22
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Please remember that daylight savings is in one month so you can complain about it on Facebook.
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10-03-2016 04:34
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Only recently found out that those fold out tables in the men's restrooms are for changing babies and not for napping.
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10-03-2016 04:33
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You want to seduce me? Try a little Wicked Game by Chris Isaak.
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10-03-2016 04:30
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Plan a romantic evening but instead of rose petals sprinkle a path of grated cheese to the bedroom.
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10-03-2016 04:29
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Legally only qualifies as a hootenanny if it takes place in Kentucky or West Virginia.
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10-03-2016 04:28
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I think it's wrong that only one company makes the board game "Monopoly."
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10-03-2016 04:25
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"I bet Lionel Richie was easy every damn day..." And other thoughts that keep me awake at night.
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10-03-2016 04:24
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I'd rather watch a murderous horror flick than your wedding video.
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10-03-2016 04:23
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People who say "only God can judge me" don't know how Twitter trolls work.
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10-03-2016 04:22
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Just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother.
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10-03-2016 04:21
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Just so you know, you will be asked to leave the funeral if you do a drum solo on the coffin....no matter how epic it is.
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10-03-2016 04:20
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