Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Hey Hillary, How does it feel like to be aborted 5 days before delivery?
←Rate | 11-02-2016 20:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember on Saturday night to set you clocks back an hour and then on Tuesday, not to set the country back 50 years.  .....
←Rate | 11-02-2016 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad Politicians are elected by Good People who DON'T VOTE!
←Rate | 11-02-2016 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a few laughs with the boss today. I still hate is guts though.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 19:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 18:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is the tornado. And Hillary is the trailer park.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 17:09 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Animals are our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport
←Rate | 11-02-2016 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a time when I, you know, wouldn't go "down" there...I suggested my girl trim it into a dinosaur shape. That's how my parents got me to eat chicken.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 15:59 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon People wonder what happened to rock n roll. I'll tell you. It's now made by computers with no talent people who talk, not sing over the song, or others who over-sing and think The Voice exemplifies what singing should be.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 15:21 by Cawy Materva Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next year i'm definitely going to do the Haunted Mill run because if you say it with a strong accent it sounds like you're saying "hundred mile run"
←Rate | 11-02-2016 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just bought a thesaurus at Goodwill, I got home to discover all the pages are blank, I have no words to describe how angry I am...
←Rate | 11-02-2016 12:04 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Trump wins I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary's poll numbers are dropping faster than Bill Clinton's pants in an Arkansas trailer park
←Rate | 11-02-2016 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vote Trump and let's get started repairing America.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 08:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cone of silence. The secret square. The inner circle. Just what the heck is geometry hiding?
←Rate | 11-02-2016 07:43 by TallMtMan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only 364 more days until Halloween!! I know, I know. I can't wait either.
←Rate | 11-01-2016 22:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
←Rate | 11-01-2016 21:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you imagine the pressure Morgan Freeman's mom felt reading him a bedtime story?
←Rate | 11-01-2016 17:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon One small step for man... One giant leap for Danny DeVito.
←Rate | 11-01-2016 17:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an app the reminds me when my garage door is open. Now if I can get one the reminds me when my fly is...
←Rate | 11-01-2016 17:09 Comments (0)  




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