friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   That channel is all Hawt blonds and old dudes. Every show from Fox news looks like a party scene from Weekend at Bernies

   I had no idea it was black Friday in Baltimore.

   My friend said that he and his wife wanted to swing by this weekend. I said we'd love that. I hope he didn't mean they wanted to swing bi.

   If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   This weekend seemed to go a little faster than most. :/

   Just what is DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME and Why are we saving so much of it? Why can't the time change kick in on a Friday at 4pm?

   JUDAS: "Still on for friday?" JESUS: "Friday?" JUDAS: "Yeah, you know, the Last Supper" JESUS: "The what?!?" JUDAS: "the Supper, just the Normal Everyday Supper"

   The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I'm going to drink tonight.

   50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans

   50 Shades of Grey beat Sponge Bob at the weekend box office. Sponge Bob could have stayed at number 1 but he refused to remove his square-pants

   Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.

   I think it's logical to hate the player, without players there would be no game and I would have a date for Friday night

   on this very day 125 years ago it was also a Friday TGIF

   I just read an article that Black Friday in Ferguson was a smash hit....

   Celebrating "Thank-The-Lord-That-Stupid-Brown-Thursday-Black-Friday-Cyber-Monday-Marketing-Crap-Is-Over" Tuesday.

   I don't know why they need a whole month, they get the busiest Friday of the year

   This Taco Bell breakfast taste like I don't get paid till Friday.

   Black Friday: The day you spend hundreds of dollars on possessions to celebrate the birth of a man who didn't believe in possessions.

   if you don't already hate people, black friday shoppers is a great way to start.