Monday Funny Status Messages

   If Friday ever came up missing... than more than likely Monday had something to do with it!

   There are some days when I just really do not want to wake up early and go to work. I call these days Monday - Friday.

   Monday's should start at Noon because I can't get motivated to do anything till at least 12:30 or so on Monday's as it is.

   My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.

   Things I don't like: 1) Probably you. 2) Cold coffee. 3) Small talk. 4) Mondays. 5) Having small talk with you on a Monday while my coffee is getting cold.

   Because it's Monday, I'll go ahead and tell you what the funniest thing is the world is: A fat guy falling down his last 3 stairs, while farting. Glad no one was here.

   Monday Morning. Kind of woke up needing Viola Davis to tell me you is kind you is smart you is important.

   Here's my gym schedule. Monday, cardio. Tuesday, weights. Wednesday, 7 mile bike ride. Thursday, 15 year break. Repeat.

   I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear.

   No better way to kick off a Monday then to defend a sweet elderly women from a crabby ass "Douchebag", who clearu has no respect for the humankind!!!

   this is what has happened when the have Giants won the Superbowl....1987 Black Monday Stock Market Crash,1991 Gulf War part 1,2008 Economy Crashes....2012

   You know when the police arrive at your job at 9am on a Monday... Its going to be an interesting day.

   Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you'd like to put in on Monday.

   starting the diet on monday or when walgreens runs out of maked down christmas candy

   Monday isn't so bad if you: skip work, get hammered, join a gang, get a piercing, bang a hooker and buy a giraffe. It's Tuesday that sucks.

   been married for 20 years and has sex almost every day....almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.....

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   monday - friday , we work. saturday - sunday they party I'm still @ work. they sleep I'm dreaming!

   The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.

   I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.