Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm too tired to stay awake and watch... It feels like this U.S. Election night is Christmas Eve, and America's worried Santa might leave coal and sticks instead of presents in the morning.

   Trump Winning? Looks like back to the kitchen Hilary, here's your spatula

   Welcome back to 1956!

   33,000 people attended Hillary clintons rally/ concert yesterday. I wonder if they received the tickets via email..

   As I walk through Walmart......all the sudden the election makes sense.

   America is in labor now, in a few short hours we will find out if it's a boy or a girl.

   You think you're having a bad day, you could be a Siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and you're the only one with an ass.

   ☐ Clinton ☐ Trump ☑ Beer

   Instead of voter fraud, why don't they just call it Electile Dysfunction?

   I participated in the downfall of America, and all I got was this lousy sticker?

   Pick-of-the-Day Special. An egotistical idiot OR WWIII. Choose wisely.

   I voted...for Medical Marijuana.

   Clinton vs Trump. Whoever wins, We lose.

   Sticker given to Trump supporters at the polls: "I Voted" Sticker given to Hillary supporters at the polls: "I Rigged"

   I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt, I couldn't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove I had purchased a donut.

   I'm so excited to watch the season finale of America tonight.

   I heard a rumour Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary. It seems the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.

   Today is Erection Day! Go hard or go home...

   No matter who wins, they will likely be impeached and their vice president will take over

   Well, it's that day that we act like our vote matters.