life Funny Status Messages

   White folks are so comfortable with rap music nowadays that we gonn start seein' fanny packs that say "Thug Life".

   Advertisers: you can stop using "it will change your life" as a selling point. Cocaine, unemployment, and AIDS will also change your life.

   When anyone says to me "I need to talk to you", every bad thing I've ever done in my life flashes before my eyes

   I've Realized Something Today.. No Matter How Hard You Try To Plan Your Life.. Life Has A Plan For You All On Its Own..

   The most impressive thing about Beyonce and Jay-Z as parents, is how dedicated they are to giving Blue Ivy® a normal life.

   won't be able to spend Valentine's Day with the love of his life who keeps him warm, cosy and protected!!! I'm sorry bed but I'll be cheating on you with that b^tçh mistress of mine I call work.

   If I give you a straw, will you go suck the fun outta someone elses life?!

   Just sitting here thinking. We don't need more religion, we have plenty. What we need are more Christians, living a Christ like life!

   Men go through 3 stages in life: Drinking from boobs, staring at boobs, and growing boobs.

   I've dedicated my life to gettin prostitutes off the streets .... For an hour or so usually ..    

   A man is a man all of his life but a woman is only sexy until shes your wife. - A.Bundy -

   My life could benefit from a little more Stranger Danger and a little less Acquaintance Maintenance.

   Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

   What happens if you choke to death on a Life Saver?

   that sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching a awesome movie :(

   Life is like a roller coaster, and I'm about to throw up.

   Never reject anybody in your life, because good people give us happiness and bad people give us experience. Both are essential in life!

   MIA No name, talent-less, trashy, low life, that can't sing will make millions by giving everyone the bird. What a low class piece of trash.

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   Nobody's life is perfect, but life itself does have perfect moments….