Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon #Life tip: if someone comes out of a #bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 13:13 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old school slogan "Question Authority!" is replaced by today's "Question the News Media!" slogan
←Rate | 11-14-2016 12:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FUN FACT: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
←Rate | 11-14-2016 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives? I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 09:59 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, Trump tells us to stop harrassing minorities, yesterday, on 60 Minutes. His wish is my command.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 09:24 by Bart Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 07:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Please stop being mean" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle
←Rate | 11-14-2016 01:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much of your pants are you allowed to fold up before you're mistaken for a fisherman?
←Rate | 11-14-2016 00:38 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon it ok to put up a festivus pole before the 1st of December ?
←Rate | 11-13-2016 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What kind of Leader says and does nothing about Nation Wide Riots?
←Rate | 11-13-2016 14:25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Safety pins are for diapers, full of crap
←Rate | 11-13-2016 13:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... After eight years ... At least with a new President Comedians will finally be allowed to joke about the president once again.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 13:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Safety pins are for Babies.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good Lord .... I find it ironic that the people are claiming that Trump will destroy America ..... While they go out and destroy America.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 01:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Martin L King ... Looted nothing, Burned nothing, Attacked .... NO ONE ....... Yet ... CHANGED THE WORLD. Time for people to wake up ..... It's the mind ... Not the emotions that holds the power.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 01:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After a Nation Wide Survey we have determined that there were actually 3% more Cleveland Indian fans than Cubs fans. We hereby demand that the Chicago Cubs relinquish their World Series Title!!! ..... Said no sane person ever.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 00:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Cubs are not my World Series Champions!!!! Protest and Boycott the unfair World Series!!
←Rate | 11-12-2016 13:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [grocery produce aisle]... ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?.. CLERK: No, why do you ask?... CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 12:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon At first glance, the word "Diputseromneve" looks confusing and retarded. However, if you read it backwards it's even more stupid.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 11:25 by Michael Hall Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Game show hosts going on strike... They know their jobs are in Jeopardy,.. but they won't settle until they can get a contract where The Price Is Right.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 11:02 by snotty Comments (0)  




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