Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Why is it friggen up if you put in a twitter neam

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take JCGJ too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..

   Carrie Fisher said Trump would never be her president and damned if she wasn't right!

   If you can't handle me at my drunk,...join the crowd.

   I wish I loved anything as much as Santa loves rich kids.

   Carrie Fisher was found unconscious by a relative,who tried to revive her with chest compressions. Unfortunately, the force wasn't strong enough.

   Sierra, Echo, November, Delta. November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra

   Apparently there are some "Careless Whispers" about how George Michaels passed away. .... Still too soon?

   I heard George's friends tried to wake him up before they had to GoGo, but apparent he was suffering from a fatal case of the Jitterbug. ... too soon?

   So 2016 Took a Prince and a Princess...Damn

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!

   The man who discovered copper died penniless

   When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

   Apparently my snoring is louder than my cars sound system .

   there a way I can trade Kanye West, the Kardasians, and the Jersey Shore cast for one of the "Good ones" that died in 2016? Would throw Kathy Griffin in if it helps.

   PRO TIP : EX-LAX AND SLEEPING PILLS DON'T MIX

   You go to the refrigerator to see if something is appealing and later on you return to see if anything is appealing as if something magically appeared. Same as checking Facebook throughout the day- the same ol' over and over.

   I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.

   My girl has the crabs, I suggested fishnet stockings.