love Funny Status Messages

   Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.

   some song lyrics are just so wrong.. "I drove all night to get to you, is that alright? I drove all night, crept in your room Woke you from your sleep, to make love to you Is that alright?"...No Roy, it was not alright at all!!!

   Fellas: When you are making love to your woman and she starts reaching for things that aren't there, then you know you are doing it right.

   Nothing better then waking up with the woman YOU love. :) - Me, waking up with the woman YOU love......

   When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!

   For Halloween I'm going as laundry, women love doing laundry.

   Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

   Love is not always sunshine and flowers. Sometimes it is thunder and lightning.

   I love how the ninja turtles wear masks. Way to hide your identity, its not like your a giant turtle or anything.

   DAUGHTER : “I am in love with the neighbor, so I am running away with him.” DAD: “How is he going to take care of you when he doesn't even have a job?” DAUGHTER: “Dad, I am only reading the letter left by Mom.”

   Love is free. Loyalty is going to cost you.

   I took a sh!t this morning. TMI? Yeah well I don't want to read about how in love you are with your boyfriend of the week either.

   Be motivated by the hate you receive and encouraged by the love you receive.

   Mathematics may not teach us how to add love or how to minus hate. But it gives us every reason to hope that "every problem has a solution.

   I taught her how to love, she taught me how to hate.

   Just saying I love Google. It gives me everything I need, except head.

   They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.

   Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. It doesn't come with rules and regulations or terms and conditions. It just happens.

   Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.

   Just spent some time manscaping. Planning to donate to 'Locks for Love'.