Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I wonder if China was clever enough to make the Mongolians pay for their wall?
←Rate | 01-12-2017 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alls I'm sayin is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans. . .
←Rate | 01-12-2017 13:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People boycotting L.L.Bean because the owner gave money to a Trump PAC? Not going to hurt them much as they sell work boots.....
←Rate | 01-12-2017 12:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The point in making a point is to actually make a point,
←Rate | 01-12-2017 09:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is going to be the next president. Deal with it. In a related story, Air Canada has cheap fares right now.
←Rate | 01-12-2017 07:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found out they sell universal remotes at Wal-mart. Wow! For just $9.95 I can control the whole universe!
←Rate | 01-12-2017 07:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector last night.The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
←Rate | 01-12-2017 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're looking for a good Trump pee joke, Urine Luck
←Rate | 01-12-2017 06:30 by bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters. So Trump can’t tweet it.
←Rate | 01-12-2017 00:53 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me get this straight... People who believed President Obama was born in Kenya and that there would be FEMA camps, and that Hillary ran a child sex ring from a pizza joint.... are SKEPTICAL of US intelligence.
←Rate | 01-11-2017 23:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always floss, but when I do it's in the dentist's office when the hygienist does it..
←Rate | 01-11-2017 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bae, I got you bae. -Sonny & Cher 2014
←Rate | 01-11-2017 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.
←Rate | 01-11-2017 22:42 Comments (1)  


   messageicon So she married one of the seven dwarfs But divorced him shortly after when she realised he wasn't actually happy.
←Rate | 01-11-2017 22:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yup .... Sex with a 50 year old woman is pretty much the same as with a 20 year old with the exception that is has little chance of magically transforming into a child support payment.
←Rate | 01-11-2017 22:27 Comments (1)  


   messageicon It is in the best interest of the United Sates to have better relations with Russia because Russian women are HOT!!!!
←Rate | 01-11-2017 21:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon only close minded individuals talk about politic on social media!
←Rate | 01-11-2017 21:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Russians are gonna blackmail Trump w/ a "golden showers" tape? Trump must be PISSED!
←Rate | 01-11-2017 20:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anyone else considered the romantic possibilities of nachos and naps?
←Rate | 01-11-2017 20:09 by TallMtnMan Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Trump should act more presidential. Instead of ignoring reporters, he should do what our current president does, and BANS THEM from the press conferences..
←Rate | 01-11-2017 20:00 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  




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