Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1042 of 6446

I wonder if China was clever enough to make the Mongolians pay for their wall?
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01-12-2017 13:41
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Alls I'm sayin is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans. . .
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01-12-2017 13:20
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People boycotting L.L.Bean because the owner gave money to a Trump PAC? Not going to hurt them much as they sell work boots.....
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01-12-2017 12:19
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The point in making a point is to actually make a point,
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01-12-2017 09:36 by Mickey
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Trump is going to be the next president. Deal with it. In a related story, Air Canada has cheap fares right now.
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01-12-2017 07:35
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I just found out they sell universal remotes at Wal-mart. Wow! For just $9.95 I can control the whole universe!
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01-12-2017 07:33
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I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector last night.The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
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01-12-2017 07:27
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If you're looking for a good Trump pee joke, Urine Luck
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01-12-2017 06:30 by bob
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The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters. So Trump can’t tweet it.

Let me get this straight... People who believed President Obama was born in Kenya and that there would be FEMA camps, and that Hillary ran a child sex ring from a pizza joint.... are SKEPTICAL of US intelligence.
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01-11-2017 23:52
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I don't always floss, but when I do it's in the dentist's office when the hygienist does it..
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01-11-2017 22:54
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Bae, I got you bae. -Sonny & Cher 2014
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01-11-2017 22:48
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I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.
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01-11-2017 22:42
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So she married one of the seven dwarfs But divorced him shortly after when she realised he wasn't actually happy.
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01-11-2017 22:33
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Yup .... Sex with a 50 year old woman is pretty much the same as with a 20 year old with the exception that is has little chance of magically transforming into a child support payment.
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01-11-2017 22:27
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It is in the best interest of the United Sates to have better relations with Russia because Russian women are HOT!!!!
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01-11-2017 21:22
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only close minded individuals talk about politic on social media!
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01-11-2017 21:00
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The Russians are gonna blackmail Trump w/ a "golden showers" tape? Trump must be PISSED!
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01-11-2017 20:55
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Has anyone else considered the romantic possibilities of nachos and naps?

President Trump should act more presidential. Instead of ignoring reporters, he should do what our current president does, and BANS THEM from the press conferences..