Funny Status Messages

   Auto-Correct is shut, every time I try to swear it ducking corrects it, for duck sake it's doing it now, to he'll with it, suck on my cook you auto-correcting butch!

   thinks it's discriminating that there's a Black Friday but not a White Friday!

   Those peeps out there are actin crazy..I had to hit someone over the head wit a frozen turkey...But that old lady had it comin cuz that will be the last time she runs over my foot wit her wheelchair....

   I've just been given a six month suspension from football. I caught an opponent with a tackle and broke both his legs... I admit the tackle was a bit late, he was getting into his car at the time.

   One of the best situations in life is to be in a peer group where one person has a grudge against you, but everyone else really likes you.

   Too bad there isn't an option to hear the next five seconds after someone hits end on a call. Make no mistake that is when the truth comes out.

   Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I've even said anything? How do you know it's nice to meet me? I'm an a$$hole. It probably isn't.

   Camping out for black friday is a fun way to prepare for your impending homelessness.

   "America has no greater friend than Great Britain" ~ George Bush

   feels like a TSA agent stuffing this turkey...

   TSA tagline: One man's junk is another man's treasure.

   it's time to break out the kiddie pool and fill it with cranberry sauce.... Time for Bubba and Sis to fight over that turkey leg Springer-style. Gotta love Family Thanksgiving Traditions....

   As God is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly!!!!

   If it's between love and losing And to never have known the feeling, I'd still side with love And if I end up lonely at least I will be there knowing I believe in love

   making a Thanksgiving mix Tape

   May your turkey be overstuffed and the belt on your robe loose enough. Happy Thanksgiving!

   Why do Koreans fight among themselves? It must be hard because they all look alike so nobody knows who to shot whom.

   at home on White Wednesday.....just sayin

   planning on stuffing my turkey with Froot Loops - I find it is colorfully festive and fun for the kids!

   three strikes in Wii bowling I got a turkey :D Happy Thanksgiving Me.