love Funny Status Messages

   I love babies wearing sunglasses. They are like little tiny, blind jazz musicians.

   I can’t express to you in words how much I love you and that’s why I’m at your house setting up candles and sharpening your knives.

   I love my wife so much that I use c ondom with other girls.

   We say we love and are fully behind our soldiers risking their lives fighting for our freedom and protecting us from our enemies yet we pay them peanuts while we make millionaires out of sportmen, movie stars, Justin Bieber, the Kadarshians, Kanye west.

   I love your eyes, but I love mine more...because without them, I won't see yours.

   I love how my George Foreman Grill separates the grease and fat, so I have something to dip my burger in.

   The best reply to "I love you" is "Well that's a terrible idea."

   First rule of the women's club: listen to us. No no, respect us. Wait no, love us for our mind. Hmm no...I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

   If you can't handle me on Facebook then you definitely don't deserve me at my best! Wait...this is my best!!! Guys, please love me.

   I love how some people ignore the train wreck that is my life and actually try to ask me for advice with a straight face.

   No one will ever love you as much as your dog loves your stinky feet

   Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts.

   I'm on the "I love food more than I love exercise but I love naps more than I love food" diet.

   If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.

   Ours was love at first fight.

   If you're having a bad day, remember that somewhere in the world, someone willingly got a Nickelback tattoo. And they love it.

   I love yoga pants as much as the next guy, but now I also know that my sister has a great ass.

   I love riding my red Mustang into work,,, but I am tired of people complaining about horse crap in the parking lot.

   "Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?" "Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."

   Make sure you love each other for your pleasant personalities coz when the looks are gone its what you will have to live with for the rest of your lives.