Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   embarrassed himself at a funeral today - the shop didn't have any condolence cards left so he just bought a "Hope You'll Be Happy In Your New Home!" one instead.

   considering switching his Facebook account to Spanish language settings so that he can have a "me gusta" button.

   a strong supporter of gay rights but he thinks we should also strongly support gay lefts because the two go hand-in-hand.

   So if I post a status on Facebook between 1:01am and 1:59am tomorrow does it disappear at 2:00am?

   If I am ever put on life support, pull the plug, wait 30 seconds and plug it back in. See if that works

   Hopeless you say !!! Nah, don't give up, some people live an entire life on hope....and guess what ?? They living fine.... :)

   need to finish my assignments fast before my brains figure out I am doing something productive....

   Hun, your jerk boyfriend is like a bottle of sour milk in the fridge. You don't keep going back and tasting the milk to see if it's better; why do you think that if you give him enough chances, he'll magically become a nice guy?

   reminding you that you need to turn your clocks back this weekend, i'm going to turn mine back to when I was 25.

   Instead of all this nonsence with an hour here or there or mess around with the whole leap years crap. We should accumulate the time for an extra day on the weekend!.

   Maybe I should get a ventriloquist dummy to say all the ignorant things I think and blame it on the dummy!....lol

   What would Zach Galifianakis do?

   eating soup with chop sticks..........this may take awhile

   If you want to change the Font size on Facebook, just press CTRL and + till you get the size you want, Or CTRL and - to make it smaller.

   wondering what a conversation between Chewbaca & the teacher from "Peanuts" would be like? Who would interpret?

   Its interesting that Obama is visiting India for the very reason Indians go to US : JOBS!

   I can finally use that one watch I never figured out how to adjust

   Dear Maths, All my life you made me find your X !!! Listen buddy...She's not coming back....So please move on!!! Regards, Frustrated Student

   Sometimes your the windshield sometimes your the bug, but every now and then ya get to be a big effin rock and smash that windshield!!

   OH SH*T I TURNED MY CLOCK BACK TO FAR ITS 1984 I JUST PUT ON MY WHAM HALF SHIRT AND I'm GOING TO THE ARCADE.......TTYL