Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I did an ancestry search on line of my family heritage? It totally explains why I found a hockey mask and machete under Jason's bed?

   Wondering what's gonna happen to that Hindu ass wipe from Rutgers College who played a prank on the poor guy who committed suicide when he goes to prison! I wish the guards secretly tapes Ravi getting raped and put it on the web

   can't wait til menopause do us part...

   would like to offer you a helpful tip : Build a bridge.....AND JUMP OFF IT!!

   ■Unlike drugs, Facebook addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life

   I better get to sleep. I have to get up early to call in sick to work.

   I always hate when I miss out on wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart night.

   The rules were already broken when I got here.

   I'm not going bald, i'm just getting more head.

   What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick

   Sow your wild oats on Saturday night; then on Sunday, pray for crop failure

   It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married

   busy re-wrapping extra strength chocolate ex-lax in Hershey miniature wrappers for the Trick or Treat-ers this week end.

   TIP TO REDUCE WEIGHT! first turn your head to the left...then turn your head to the right,..repeat this excercise evrytime you are offerd something to EAT

   Running with scissors. Take that society.

   out like your hairdo!!

   hates eating hard shell tacos. Take one bite and it becomes nachos.

   You're Not my type is just a nicer way of saying your Ugly.

   Why are condoms like cameras? They both capture the moment.

   Condom Ad: if you are not 100% satisfied with our product, Happy Father's Day!!