Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hey ladies its Halloween. Feel free to show off your pumpkins!

   Sometimes I think that the only reason that the United States goes to War with countries is to help American kids learn Geography...before the War, how many of them could tell you where Afghanistan is?

   's wondering where Chinese gets their English names from

   History lessons in our time whr easy, at least people fought for a purpose, feel sorry for next generation to keep up with the History

   which kind of vinegar must your bath towel smell like until you actually get a clean one?

   why is burqas classified as crime, when lady gaga can wear raw meat as an outfit in public?

   loves Halloween, as people dont mind your garden looking scary

   Oooo God, Facebook was down for about 30 mins or so, I'm predicting a baby-boom in about 8 months... =)

   remembers believing that by pressing the Diet "Button" on McDonalds Coke lids would suddenly make the Coke turn into a Diet Coke O_0

   - Wayne Rooney and Alex Ferguson have changed their relationship status to 'its complicated'... Manchester city 'like this'

   The closest I come to cooking with gas is when I break wind while frying a steak

   Everything happens for a reason... Just know that God places people in your life for a reason and will let you know what that reason is when it is time! ♥

   Few women admit their age; few men act it.....

   "Careful with fire" is good advice we know. "Careful with words" is ten times doubly so

   What color does a smurf go when you choke it ?

   I no-longer have magazines in my washroom, I got my phone to mess around with instead

   says If two morons fall in love I could care less, but for the love of God please DON'T reproduce and make more of you. There are enough idiots in this world without you making more.

   if a full moon makes you crazy, you were a crazy biotch to start with!

   Don't ya hate it when ya interrupted during dinner!! Lady from the Sperm Bank just knocked asking for donations!! Boy, did I give her a mouthful!!

   So high, God told me to get off his roof.