Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Had a conference today with my child's teacher regarding her C in Grammar. During our conference, her teacher totally said "funner". ha ha.

   I love them all.....Fake (+)(+) , Perfect (o)(o), Perky (*)(*), Cold (^)(^) and even Grandma's \o/ \o/ Big ( • )( • ) or small (.) (.) save them all. REPOST for Breast Cancer Awareness.

   really annoyed with the new Hollywood 3D Craze. There are some things you don't want to see in 3D, Jack*ss comes to mind.

   Went to the store to buy groceries for my kids at the store today. Was shocked in the Ceral Isle. There were 40 different varities of Captain Crunch. Really? How many combos of sugar squares and sugar balls can there be?

   somehow dressing up in spandex and my underwear seemed like such a great idea when I was a kid. Tried it today, if anybody needs me I will be in the Pysche Ward for the next two weeks.

   Really hate how some of my friends try to fish for compliments with their posts that say "post one word that reminds you of me" I always post back, I can't think of one word, but there are two that really stand out to me.

   What do women and dog sh!t have in common? The older they are, the easier they are to pick up

   It's really awkward that all of the people who post the "how did you meet me" statuses are all people I haven't met.. then again, I don't go outside

   Doesn't have children , she has insane little mental patients !

   goes from married to single in 5.5 shots of Tequila.

   drink up everybody! Its somebody's birthday today.

   I just got an inappropriate text message from Bret Favre.

   Don't make me use UPPERCASE.

   Ever accidentally pull something out of your purse thinkin it was a pen when checking out?? Yep, that's how my days goin...

   *Looks at the world* --- *Looks at his keyboard and furiously presses Alt+Ctrl+Del*

   Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!

   Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

   I came up with a stupid status today, but I forgot what it was.

   its better to waste years waiting for the right person to come than to waste years regretting that you didnt

   I'm saving myself for marriage. Sorry, FROM. Saving myself FROM marriage