Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A save electricity sign: "Don't you hate it when someone turns you on, and then just leaves?"

   I quit wishing after I fell down the well.

   I life without mistakes, is a life full of mistakes!

   The only people who complain about FB having to much drama...is the people who just got caught doing something they wasnt supposed to be doing

   everyone was clapping for me when I got off the plane...I bet those military guys behind me were jealous.

   looking at the NFL schedule, the NFL needs to change who plays the Thanksgiving game. It should be Patriots vs. Redskins in Washington. Then, after the game, the Patriots kill the Redskins and take their stadium away from them...

   Hates it when I can't tell if it's a man or woman smiling at me. I don't know whether to smile back or run!!

   Iphone has just patented anti sexting software..brett favre your going to want to get a DROID

   Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

   Schizophrenia- Me against all of me.

   pretending he is driving on a dirt road in Hazzard county..Yee-Hawww!

   Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala!

   You know I'm a Duke boys fan..but how is it Luke always knows short cuts that Bo doesn't? They're always in the car together!!

   what you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

   Funny fat guy fall on face! -The Hangover

   its alot of birthday's today on facebook, maybe I should fake mines to feel more important

   faking your birthday on facebook = finding out real friends

   Gavin Rossdale has admitted to a gay fling when he was younger.. In a related story, a gay dude admitted to making sh!tty music for 15 years.

   The miner in best shape came out last.. You know that kocky one with the abs,"El Situacion"

   Okay lads, let's all remember this : What happened in the mine, stays in the mine.