Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I don't call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 15:30 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon do you ever get that feeling someones watching you?.... good it's about time you realized it, ive been starring at you through this window for 3 hrs, and this treebranch is killin me!
←Rate | 10-12-2010 17:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon furiously searching for my misplaced Mozambican shrunken head. Well my evening is ruined...
←Rate | 10-12-2010 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're happy and you know it drop your pants!!
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering: do doggies ever do it people-style???
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:02 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the Chilean miner's wives is taking him on Jeremy Kyle for a lie detector. The first question is... "Apart from the 32 she knows about have you had sexual contact with anyone else in the past 3 months !
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:06 by Boobiieezmum Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Today was a good day. I didn't have to slap anybody."
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:14 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You and your rumors...you both get around. ;)
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:15 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Makeover?? Honey you need to be ran over!!
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:17 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ran into her ex today...put it in reverse and got his new girlfriend, too!!! ;)
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:25 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The first of the Chile miners has came outta the hole, rumors have it, that he seen his shadow....6 more weeks til winter!
←Rate | 10-12-2010 18:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As things that I find gratifying as an adult goes, being at work and getting paid to take a dump is very high on the list since it is something you can do daily.. I encourage everyone to do this now! And if you wanna take it to the next level, rub one out
←Rate | 10-12-2010 19:29 by karaoke joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon So....I just heard that one of the trapped Chilean miners has both his wife AND mistress at the rescue site. Awww dude, just stay down there.........
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:01 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you throw rice at weddings, will asian people throw hotdogs?
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:04 by Cisco Comments (0)  


   messageicon Impotence: Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings"
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:05 by Cisco Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:05 by Cisco Comments (1)  


   messageicon Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:06 by Cisco Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking is the answer, I don't remember the question
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:06 by Cisco Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:07 by Cisco Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids
←Rate | 10-12-2010 20:08 by Cisco Comments (0)  




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