santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Look. Those Christmas Walmart roll back prices are only for believers in the baby Jesus!

   I just took the Christmas tree down. Gonna dye Easter eggs this afternoon.

   Here’s a little song about post-Christmas cleanup it’s called “Where the Hell Are We Going to Put All This Sh$t” and a one and a two

   Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self-centered lives already in progress.

   In the summer it was to hot outside now it's to cold outside to take the Christmas lights down.

   For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Prefer to do socially distance exchange and will place in front of house for you pickup. Leave money in neighbor's mailbox.

   Hope all of you who received a book from me for Christmas thoroughly enjoy them! Oh and don't forget they need to be back the library by the 30th.

   Finding out there's no Q is just as devastating as a child finding out Santa isn't real.

   shoutout to my mom who has reused the same Christmas gift bags for so long she just found a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory from 1999.

   On a happier note... Cuomo is going down faster than Kamala Harris at the company Christmas party.

   Well it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now.

   Any movie can be a Christmas movie if you eat 37 sugar cookies while watching.

   I cut down my own Christmas tree this year. My neighbor isn't very happy about it because it was in his yard.

   Oh, so you're preparing turkey again for Christmas? Twice in one month. Kudos to you. I'm overwhelmed by your imagination.

   I like it when my wife makes Christmas shopping easy. This year she said she wants a gun, Duct tape, some rope, and a large sturdy bag. Can't wait to see what she gets me!

   My mom has been attending her own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1984.

   I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road

   ATTENTION EVERYONE: I have an announcement to make. Santa just confirmed that I have been very good this year!

   Christmas is truly a magical time. It's made all my money disappear!

   Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party.