father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   I am dreaming to became rich...just like my father..."is your father rich?" ...no! he is dreaming too

   Whatever happens, Never agree to teach a girl how to ride a bike with her father watching..

   My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

   it's really inconsiderate of you to be this attaractive if you're not planning on being the father of my future children

   "Woman impregnated at Motorhead concert seeks father on Craigslist." And they say romance is dead

   A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea.

   Struggling with Impostor Syndrome a lot lately. I guess I just need to relax, take a breath, and remind myself that my father was the Czar.

   As a father to 2 sons & a grandfather to 2 grandsons,, I often find myself torn between.. "Don't ever do that again" and " Ahh,Good one!"

   People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't - Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my father.

   Have you ever just stopped and thought... "I was once inside my father's balls" ( ._. )

   It's weird how all the floor around my father is made of eggshells.

   Police officer: "license and registration" Me: "DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS!?" Police officer: No Me: "me neither".

   Just posted a hundred Father's Day cards, signed 'Your Secret Lovechild' to all the men in my neighborhood. Now all I have to do is hire a bus and pay a visit to the local orphanage to set Stage 2 of my plan into motion...

   Most kids are taught the normal 'Birds and the Bee's'! Not me I was traumatized! My father explained it to me by showing me a male and female outlet. To this day everytime I plug something in I get all worked up And dont let even show me an extension cord

   A handprint in clay is a great Father's Day gift from a three year old. Kinda creepy from a thirty year old, though.

   If I can just make it one more day without some kid that I've never seen before wishing me a happy father's day this weekend will be a success.

   Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, & actually came back home.

   Just woke my kids up and told them, “It's Father's Day! Where's my present?” They just started crying.

   Dear Dad, thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!

   Still no Fathers Day card from my kids. Just because they are short, furry and talk funny is no excuse....it's hard being a single father.