Monday Funny Status Messages

   There are some 35–45 year old men who think Cyber Monday means something else...

   Monday?! But, I wasn't even finished with Saturday yet....

   Wednesday a blood relative of Monday!

   I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.

   The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.

   monday - friday , we work. saturday - sunday they party I'm still @ work. they sleep I'm dreaming!

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   been married for 20 years and has sex almost every day....almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.....

   Monday isn't so bad if you: skip work, get hammered, join a gang, get a piercing, bang a hooker and buy a giraffe. It's Tuesday that sucks.

   starting the diet on monday or when walgreens runs out of maked down christmas candy

   Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you'd like to put in on Monday.

   You know when the police arrive at your job at 9am on a Monday... Its going to be an interesting day.

   this is what has happened when the have Giants won the Superbowl....1987 Black Monday Stock Market Crash,1991 Gulf War part 1,2008 Economy Crashes....2012

   No better way to kick off a Monday then to defend a sweet elderly women from a crabby ass "Douchebag", who clearu has no respect for the humankind!!!

   I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear.

   Here's my gym schedule. Monday, cardio. Tuesday, weights. Wednesday, 7 mile bike ride. Thursday, 15 year break. Repeat.

   Monday Morning. Kind of woke up needing Viola Davis to tell me you is kind you is smart you is important.

   Because it's Monday, I'll go ahead and tell you what the funniest thing is the world is: A fat guy falling down his last 3 stairs, while farting. Glad no one was here.

   Things I don't like: 1) Probably you. 2) Cold coffee. 3) Small talk. 4) Mondays. 5) Having small talk with you on a Monday while my coffee is getting cold.

   My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.