life Funny Status Messages

   "There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found" is a very nonchalant way to react to a snowman coming to life.

   Fellas: Make sure you always treat the women in your life with respect and dignity. From your grandmother, mother, sister to your girlfriend or wife, because a woman never forgets how you treat her.

   I cut the sleeves off my snuggie because it makes me look more badas$$. THUG LIFE.

   Steal her heart not just once, but each and every day of her life!

   WARNING: Life portrayed on Facebook maybe more screwed up than it appears.

   Out of the many defining moments in a mans life, few are as significant as winning a game of NBA Jam.

   I have a life outside Facebook...but I have forgotten the password for it.

   I have been teased by friends and family that I spend way too much time on Facebook and that I really need to get a life. I am happy to say that I DO have a life outside of Facebook, but unfortunately I have forgotten the password for it.

   "When life gives you eggs, turn them into omelets!" is probably a terrible slogan for an abortion clinic.

   Why do ppl say the new year I'll change, things will better, I'm doing this or that, make resolutions...why do they wait till a new year has begun...you have the ability to change your life any day or month of the year...New Year, big deal....

   Last New Year's, people promised me that 2011 would be MY year. Those people are liars and are no longer my life coaches/psychics.

   Last New Year's, people promised me that 2011 would be MY year. Those people are liars and are no longer my life coaches

   My sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Your welcome!

   We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.

   The way I see it is that life is divided up into three stages, and you only have to wipe your @$$ for one of them. Isn't life incredible!?

   I feel sorry for people who get to the end of their life and realize they had wasted it trying to do what somebody else wanted them to do. Be your Truth, not someone's lie.

   Of everything I've ever accomplished in my life, I'm most proud of the fact that I've never seen an episode of Jersey Shore.

   Life is all about a card game. Choosing the right cards is not in our hand. But playing well with the cards in hand, determines our success.

   Life is the school Love is the lesson and sex the homework. so don't forget to do the homework tonight

   There comes a time in every man's life when he starts using this phrase.