Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-laws peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

   I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.

   Mother Nature is blowing everyone tonight.

   Just Overheard on BlackOps online;Guy 1: YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION!!!! Guy 2: I know I Hate my sister!

   Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

   The only good thing about having your mother as a FB friend is that no matter how bad your status update bombs in your attempt to be funny, you can always count on her to "like' it

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

   Parking in the "Expecting Mother" parking spot wasn't a mistake. I'm expecting yours.

   My mother never understood the irony in calling me a ”son-of-a-b!tch.”

   pretty sure that mother nature has been taken over by an evil step-mother!!!

   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

   Turning on Parental Control...restricting my wireless network so my mother cannot go on Facebook at certain times.

   if a deaf boy cusses in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

   Steven Tyler has the face only a mother could love.

   I miss the days when their mother's loving kiss could solve all of my children's problems:o(

   Facebook - one more way my mother can make sure I haven't died in the past 24 hours...

   If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

   Little Johnny wrote to Santa, "I want a baby brother for christmas." Santa wrote back' "Send me your Mother. '

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.

   Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.