love Funny Status Messages

   I love catching up with friends that I haven't seen for a while so that we can all sit around together doing shyt on our phones.

   I'd love to ram a big black dild0 up John Terry's ass.

   Oh, you love your boyfriend? Please, go ahead and saturate my Facebook news feed with your feelings.

   Love comes from the brain; an erecti0n comes from the heart.

   I love a good hardy dump in the morning time....I can't stand a tiny turd tease...makes me feel like an underachiever

   I love a woman with passionate thoughts, eloquent words, and a beautiful mind...oh, and a nice rack too!

   i love you as much as the first piece of bead that nobody claims

   If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate.

   The most exquisite pleasure is giving pleasure to someone you love.

   Put your crash helmet on love, because you're going through the headboard.

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them German, Because life is also terrifying and confusing.

   My dad thinks LOL stands for "Lots Of Love" and texted me "Dick Clark just passed . LOL"

   Whenever someone tells me & a friend to "get a room," we DO get a room, make tender love & send Mr. or Mrs. Jerkface a thank you note.

   People love to push the envelope. What they dont' know is that papercuts really hurt when I shove that envelope right back up their ass.

   A dog will love you more then your wife... Don't believe me? Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour then see which one will be happy to see you.

   Love the F word... Friday! What were you thinking?

   Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having

   Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.....and who said statistics don't have a beginning, middle, and end.

   I love watching Justin Bieber; it's like toddlers in tiara's mixed with Vh1's behind the music except live. Can't wait till we get to the drug addiction part.

   Oh for the love of Jesus please stop rep0sting this "If you want to remember you borrow money from them" sh!t. We have already seen it here ten times this week alone.