love Funny Status Messages

   I love the beach but I hate watching the Tide go out…It reminds me of my receding Hairline.

   Dear sleep, I know we had our problems when I was young... but I love you now.

   Didn we all love Kinder... where the hardest decision was picking a crayon

   Dear people who think Romeo and Juliet was a romantic love story.... It was a relationship between a 13 yr old and 17 yr old that lasted 3 days and resulted in 6 deaths.... Sincerely, Everyone that has actually read the story!

   I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment. We just sleep together every night and wake up together every morning.

   I hate little dogs. I can only love dogs that could kill me.

   All you need is love. But a little booze now and then doesn't hurt.

   Hey,, adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via my news feed,,, learn how to text.

   I didnt win the mega millions. But if you did I LOVE YOU!

   Unless your girlfriend is Rihanna, she doesn't love the way you lie.

   'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your damn WiFi.

   I believe in love. I also believe in Superman and The Force.

   You can meet 10 girls, mess with 9, talk to 8, laugh with 7, run behind 6, like 5, go out with 4, get used to 3, care about 2, but only love 1.

   If I didn't have any kids I would love to be a stay at home Dad.

   I'd love to get a hold of Mitt Romney and ask him who does his taxes…

   I wear gasoline for cologne because b*tches love money.

   I wear gasoline for cologne because women love the smell of money.

   Has anyone figured out yet why women love chocolate so much ?

   Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably sh!t.

   My GF did something last night with her mouth that all men love. She shut it.