love Funny Status Messages

   I love driving behind old people. You can get so much done: eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, read a book... write a book, etc.

   Women are not complicated... They just want love... and chocolate... and shoes... and some other stuff

   I love the word "Allegedly". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly.

   Tim Tebow may love Jesus, but it's pretty apparent that Jesus is NOT a Tebow fan.

   I hate when couples say "I love you." after just a week of dating. Ignorant fools. Makes me want to slap them in the face.

   Its the love of money thats the root of all evil you retard get your facts straight..

   Telling somebody you love them is like telling them your dream from last night. You can explain all you want. They'll never understand.

   I hate when I accidentally get married and have 11 children with a woman then realize I dont love her anymore and leave her for my secretary

   "We Found Love in a Swollen Face" by Rihanna ft. Chris Brown

   Jehovah's Witnesses? Please, come on in. Yes, I would LOVE to listen, but first let's talk about MY religion. Let me get the blowtorch.

   I pretty much need a girl to love me for what's on the outside at this point. The inside has been broken for a while and I've been trying to fix it with booze ever since.

   The only "B" word you should call a women is beautiful. B*tches love to be called beautiful

   40% of the men say "I Love You" by accident...the other 60% who do not say that..meet with an accident !

   I love Captain Crunch,,, and by that I mean I can't get enough of tasting the "roof of my mouth" skin... Two more bowls till I can tongue my brain.

   If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk.

   I'm so full of Love I poot out Heart shape bubbles...<3 <3 <3 <3

   I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

   THINGS THAT ARE DAMN HARD TO FIND: 1. A phone on silent 2. Fat girl's clitoris 3. True love

   it is "Poke a CNA" week, they have it rough, let's show them some love...

   I love Scrooge McDuck for his personality, not his wealth.