Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   WOW did you ever really look at the word "manslaughter"? Mans Laughter, that's just sick... LOL

   In an effort to boost sales, some stores are doing a "Christmas in July" completes with holiday music, decorations and sales. Nothing will put you in a buying/holiday/festive mood like Santa in a speedo.

   dancing on a table. IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT, BABY!!!!

   Ever see a flower poking up through a crack in the sidewalk? The crack represents the troubles in your life, the flower is the possibilities.

   If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

   thinks the biggest similarity between a Gynaecologist and a Pizza delivery boy is that they both can smell what's in the box.. however they can't sample it!!

   going to name her next pet Peeve.

   taking a leak of faith..after this 2 and a half hr movie - Inception..

   kinda likes ceilings. Maybe I'll become a fan.

   thinks that time flies when you're having a drunken blackout.

   contemplating becoming schizophrenic, but is in two minds about it.

   How come when you open a can of evaporated milk, it's still there?

   if someone sends me one more Farmville invite, I will banish your animals to a galaxy far, far away and set fire to your crops.

   If your phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me.

   loves a man in uniform, unless he's in my rearview mirror.

   just got barred from Bunnings. This arrogant prick in a red apron in the timber aisle just asked me if I wanted decking. Lucky I got the first punch in!

   sending more mixed signals than a dyslexic, third-base coach.

   as confused as a hungry infant in a topless bar.

   She said no booty calls. Well this calls for some head!

   Meanwhile, at the BP command center ... *cricket* *Cricket*